Saturday, March 21, 2009

Fake Breasts

Ladies I love you, but why do you feel compelled to get breast implants. I am an avid reader (yes, READER of the articles) of Playboy Magazine and it seems every issue has some pretty young girl with larger than normal fake breasts. I am not upset by breast lifts because I understand that there are many circumstances under which weight can fluctuate and there is a natural propensity for breast to start sagging when you get older; besides that's what God/Allah/[insert favorite diety]/genetics gave you with a mild amount of augmentation. It is at least still all you.

What upsets me is when you ladies size them up beyond your natural size. I know there is tremendous societal pressure to look a certain way. Furthermore, I would never admit turning away from an amazingly perfect looking set of breasts. But that's just it, they are perfect-looking, but they are essentially a lie. And worse still, a lie for which you (or some boyfriend/husband/parent) paid. I know that us guys are not always as deep as you want us to be and frequently we can be downright shallow, but there's nothing more sexy than a girl who is comfortable with herself. Granted, we all have our preferences, but I can tell you that most good guys will never turn down a beautiful, funny, intelligent and confident girl just because she has small breasts.

Personally, I think fake breasts are kind of tacky. I mostly associate them with porn stars, strippers, actresses, and models. And for the record, I understand that women in those professions also may very well be very intelligent, successful women. What I am getting at however is that they are not the first I think of when I want to take a girl home to meet the family or who is properly going to help raise a family. Perhaps it's maturity getting the best of me.

I think fake breasts are a representation of a larger problem at hand. We glorify vapid women in the limelight who all too frequently are just messed up in the head (Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan, etc; the list could go on). This is fed down through at a very young age to impressionable girls who are taught what "beautiful" should look like. It's a very morally slippery marketing strategy to push clothes, cosmetic products, or a variety of other female-targeted merchandise. This often leads to a lack of self-confidence or low self-esteem. The quick fix appears to be to do something about one's breasts, but does that really heal things underneath? After the breasts, can you honestly tell me that you are satisfied with EVERYTHING else?

The point of the matter is that I think you ladies are selling yourselves short. Yes, men are attracted to the physical, but while lust-at-first-sight may reel us in, something more substantive is necessary to keep us around.

I might get some heat from other guys here, but I just am not a fan of fake tits.

Anyways, there's a more prevalent problem than small breasts, a disease called "Noassatall"... you ladies should look into some ass-implants... just playing.

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