Sarah Palin in a Nutshell: Hypocrite

Amongst all of this Palin resignation hoopla, I feel it is important to reflect on the nut in the shell that is Sarah Palin. It is not my intention to rise above the muck and write some unbiased piece. This is my brief roast of the woman on her way out.

Over the past few months, this is basically Palin's paraphrased message to the media: "Damn you for your coverage, but really, thanks for the coverage *wink*. I did not mean for my family to become part of this until I thrust them into the spotlight and made them part of this. Please do not focus on me or my family anymore unless it's about my book deals and speeches or my daughter's baby."

She is either VERY smart, or VERY dumb. But what I can say, regardless of whether her approach to her popularity is intentional or not, she is an egotistical hypocrite (like MOST politicians).

Don't get me wrong, I am not claiming some sort of moral high-ground in which I am cleansed of any and all hypocritical behavior. We all have moments in which we say one thing and then do another. The difference is that we are not out there claiming some consistent moral high-ground.

Many women - on the right, in the center, and even on the left - would have you believe that Palin is some kind of superwoman, largely because I think they all want to think of themselves as superwomen. These are the same women who think they can work 40+ hours a week and still be considered the greatest mom ever. They either do not have the time or do not make the time to self-censor what their kids watch/play/read/learn, so they expect the government, the public education system, and businesses to bow down to their ideas of what is decent and proper, either through legislation, regulation, or petition.

In one vein, Palin talks all day about freedom-of-this and freedom-of-that and yet in the other she wants to limit said freedoms to what she sees fit. She would limit the freedom to information (sex education), freedom of sexuality (gay marriage amendment), freedom of (and from) religion (creationism in schools). But don't tell the woman she can't own a high-powered automatic rifle that could tear a person apart, that would just be unAmerican... right.

I will tell you one thing that is consistent about Palin. Regardless of what she says about the press/media, she LOVES the attention.

For her sake and mine, I hope that this marriage of convenience between Palin and the media ends soon as she resigns from the position of Governer of Alaska. She can head home and try to make more time for her family as she tries to be the good mom she claims to be, and I can go on living my life feeling thankful that she is not our vice-president.

It Came From The Comment Boards! #1 (New Series)

I don't know why I am so facinated with comment boards. It's not as if I need to be constantly reminded of how retarded people can be. I see that on the roads EVERY DAY to and from work. Furthermore, I am not sure why I feel compelled to verbally ass-rape some of these people. Maybe, I feel like they need to be brought down off of their digital high-horse of anonymity.

Usually, this is how my comment board experience goes:
I type "www.washingtonpost.com" into the address line in Internet Explorer (Sidenote: Yes, geeks of the world, I DO know about Firefox, AND I STILL USE IE because I like it! Now get off me already with your hip web-browser). I find a news story that interests me and start reading... until I make it past the picture often on the right hand side and see that there are already 1,409,567,329 (or maybe less) comments on a news article that was posted five minutes ago. I am intrigued... *CLICK* and in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... "FUCK! WHERE DO THESE PEOPLE COME FROM?!"

In this series I will be hand-picking comments, both good and bad (but mostly bad), and displaying them along with links to the article in regards to which they've been written. Call it therapeutic or cathardic, but occasionally I just need to expose to everyone the wackos and idiots we have running amock making ignorant commentary while enjoying the cover of internet-anonymity.

You've Got To Be Kidding Me! #3

Oh, PETA... what would we do without you? Apparently the some folks at PETA have their panties in a wad over Obama killing a fly during an interview. Really PETA? You've got to be kidding me!

Go back to your corner and eat a tofu-cake or something. Look, I like animals, and agree that some ought to be treated ethically, humanely, etc. but we're talking about a fucking fly here. Should he have trapped it in a net or some other device, walked to the closest door, and then opened it saying something akin to "In America, even our flies have freedom" or some bullshit like that? Better stop driving your cars PETA-members, you kill a good number of bugs. Do you wince every time one hits the windshield or are you more concerned with where you are going and what you are doing? My guess is the latter.

Yet again, another altogether ok-in-my-book lefty group loses good will over making stupid comments.

You've Got To Be Kidding Me! #2

You know, I'm sympathetic to gay rights issues... to a certain point. However, with that said, I think they are losing a lot of good will that has been generated amongst moderates and possibly even some more liberal straight folks by bitching and moaning that there is not enough that is being done for them. Apparently, according to some gay rights activists, Obama's extension of some benefits - that were not previously available to gay couples - is simply "too little, too late." You've got to be kidding me!

Personally, I have no problem with gay people and I am willing to advocate that same-sex civil unions along with allowing homosexuals to raise children will not topple the very foundation upon which many believe this country has been built.

This all or nothing approach comes across as childish and immature. Compromise and staggered legislation/action is necessary because these things take time. People rarely change their minds overnight and clearly we've seen what some wacko, hate-filled right-wing extremists will do (Tiller assassination, Holocaust shooter).

Bad News #2: The Cat Killer is Caught

In a recent story on the cat serial killer that had been plaguing Miami, CNN just reported that he was caught. Oh joy! Who gives a shit. Let's move on to something important that affects, oh I don't know, the entire country?! This article should be left strictly to the local news in Miami. Yes, it's tragic, but why do I need to know about it?

Oh, The Hell I Have Created!

Democrats, General asshats, The New York Yankees
Circle I Limbo

Greens, Libertarians
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Nancy Pelosi, PETA Members
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Scientologists, Militant Vegans
Circle IV Rolling Weights

George Bush
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

Goths, Hipsters, Rednecks
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Parents who bring squalling brats to R-rated movies, DMV Employees
Circle VII Burning Sands

Jerry Falwell, Republicans, Bernie Madoff, Creationists
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Osama bin Laden
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

Bad News #1: Another Rapper Shot

*Bad News is going to be an ongoing series exposing the idiotic and non-newsworthy stories that the cable news networks report on to keep their 24-hour news cycles going.*

You ever heard the colloquial phrase "No News is Good News"? Well, depending on your disposition, perhaps that phrase is true, but I would argue that not all news is created equal.

Now, I never got a degree in journalism nor have I ever worked at a newspaper or in the newsroom of a local or national news station, so I have never had to deal with the pressure to "make news." A recent CNN article (which, at the moment I am writing, is the #1 "Most Popular on CNN" news story), reporting on the shooting death of some no name rapper, Dolla, deserves to be singled out my first focus on Bad News.

So you may ask, what makes this Bad News?

1) Who the hell is this rapper Dolla and why is he making headlines? This is the first I have EVER heard of this guy. So he was garnering some interest from Akon, big whoop; a superstar that does not make him.

2) This article upholds commonly held stereotypes. Go into any largely white community and I'm sure you'll hear grumblings about another young black male being shot and the belief that it goes on ALL the time. Now, I am not trying to underscore the fact that it does unnecessarily happen frequently, but an article such as this only adds fuel to the fire that is being fed by TI going to jail and Mike Vick coming out. To top it all off, this is coming from the news network (CNN) that broadcasted "Black in America," exposing some of the perception problems black people often face in society, and then they go and join in the smearing. If this was a big name rapper, I think it would be another story, but this kid was barely on the scene. Do better work, CNN.

3) Amidst all that is going in the world, THIS is news?! C'mon CNN, just in America we are in economic dire straits, we have two wars still occuring, an upcoming healthcare announcement from the Obama administration, Pelosi saying that the CIA supposedly did not provide her with all the facts and a boatload of other stories that I would claim are GROSSLY more newsworthy this puff piece. That is just national news, let alone many goings-on internationally.

4) You are giving the public what they want and not dictating what the public should want. I think that I am going to find this to be a recurring theme in this series. Rather than elevate the public discourse and leave entertainment or unnecessary news to Entertainment Tonight and the tabloids, CNN and the other cable news networks puff in these pieces that pass for news and, in my honest opinion, help in the dumbing down of America. I do not care who Britney Spears or Lindsey Lohan is fucking and if I did, I do not expect to find it on a news network that appears to take itself seriously. This piece on Dolla belonged on MTV at best, if that network ever took time out from it's reality series to talk about, you know, music and music news.

There's a little bit of Bad News for you, enjoy!