It Came From The Comment Boards! #1 (New Series)

I don't know why I am so facinated with comment boards. It's not as if I need to be constantly reminded of how retarded people can be. I see that on the roads EVERY DAY to and from work. Furthermore, I am not sure why I feel compelled to verbally ass-rape some of these people. Maybe, I feel like they need to be brought down off of their digital high-horse of anonymity.

Usually, this is how my comment board experience goes:
I type "www.washingtonpost.com" into the address line in Internet Explorer (Sidenote: Yes, geeks of the world, I DO know about Firefox, AND I STILL USE IE because I like it! Now get off me already with your hip web-browser). I find a news story that interests me and start reading... until I make it past the picture often on the right hand side and see that there are already 1,409,567,329 (or maybe less) comments on a news article that was posted five minutes ago. I am intrigued... *CLICK* and in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... "FUCK! WHERE DO THESE PEOPLE COME FROM?!"

In this series I will be hand-picking comments, both good and bad (but mostly bad), and displaying them along with links to the article in regards to which they've been written. Call it therapeutic or cathardic, but occasionally I just need to expose to everyone the wackos and idiots we have running amock making ignorant commentary while enjoying the cover of internet-anonymity.

You've Got To Be Kidding Me! #3

Oh, PETA... what would we do without you? Apparently the some folks at PETA have their panties in a wad over Obama killing a fly during an interview. Really PETA? You've got to be kidding me!

Go back to your corner and eat a tofu-cake or something. Look, I like animals, and agree that some ought to be treated ethically, humanely, etc. but we're talking about a fucking fly here. Should he have trapped it in a net or some other device, walked to the closest door, and then opened it saying something akin to "In America, even our flies have freedom" or some bullshit like that? Better stop driving your cars PETA-members, you kill a good number of bugs. Do you wince every time one hits the windshield or are you more concerned with where you are going and what you are doing? My guess is the latter.

Yet again, another altogether ok-in-my-book lefty group loses good will over making stupid comments.

You've Got To Be Kidding Me! #2

You know, I'm sympathetic to gay rights issues... to a certain point. However, with that said, I think they are losing a lot of good will that has been generated amongst moderates and possibly even some more liberal straight folks by bitching and moaning that there is not enough that is being done for them. Apparently, according to some gay rights activists, Obama's extension of some benefits - that were not previously available to gay couples - is simply "too little, too late." You've got to be kidding me!

Personally, I have no problem with gay people and I am willing to advocate that same-sex civil unions along with allowing homosexuals to raise children will not topple the very foundation upon which many believe this country has been built.

This all or nothing approach comes across as childish and immature. Compromise and staggered legislation/action is necessary because these things take time. People rarely change their minds overnight and clearly we've seen what some wacko, hate-filled right-wing extremists will do (Tiller assassination, Holocaust shooter).

Bad News #2: The Cat Killer is Caught

In a recent story on the cat serial killer that had been plaguing Miami, CNN just reported that he was caught. Oh joy! Who gives a shit. Let's move on to something important that affects, oh I don't know, the entire country?! This article should be left strictly to the local news in Miami. Yes, it's tragic, but why do I need to know about it?

Oh, The Hell I Have Created!

Democrats, General asshats, The New York Yankees
Circle I Limbo

Greens, Libertarians
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Nancy Pelosi, PETA Members
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Scientologists, Militant Vegans
Circle IV Rolling Weights

George Bush
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

Goths, Hipsters, Rednecks
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Parents who bring squalling brats to R-rated movies, DMV Employees
Circle VII Burning Sands

Jerry Falwell, Republicans, Bernie Madoff, Creationists
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Osama bin Laden
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell